My enjoyment of the bush orchestra over breakfast on these summer mornings is routinely interrupted by The Boss’s mutterings into his iPad as he surveys the news of the world, and I put up with it because it goes with the crusts off his toast.

On the weekend, he barked at it when reading about the growing number of people who don’t believe in vaccines any more. Measles is back, he says, tripling to 168 cases here just last year (only seven in 2022) and globally, the World Health Organization said measles killed around 95,000, mostly children under five. Last year, whooping cough hit its highest count in Australia for 35 years.

There’s a general tone of disbelief in his voice, the same tone he uses when he discovers I’ve found rabbit entrails to roll in — the only bit the fox leaves behind.

Now, I’m just an old dog with a stiff leg and a taste for chicken necks, but I’m no stranger to vaccines. Every month, The Boss drives me into the vet and a cheerful girl in scrubs gives me a couple of shots — Beransa for the arthritis, Synovan for an anti-inflammatory — while she and The Boss feed me liver treats (my whimpering convinces them I need to be distracted, lest I take their arms off).

That’s not to mention the annual shots for parvovirus, distemper, hepatitis, rabies and who knows what. Nor the regular chews and tablets for worms, fleas and ticks. The Boss winces at the bill every time — but of course I consider it a good investment. Pricey, for sure, but so is dying slowly.

Some of humanity, on the other hand, seems to have decided that life is getting too easy without pestilence. Apparently, it’s fashionable to “do your own research”. Which, as far as I can tell, means scrolling through social media until you find someone who agrees with you. Or someone on Facebook whose main qualification is “watched a video on YouTube” and “have very strong feelings about it”.

The Boss says diphtheria, the old “strangling angel” so good at killing small children, is re-appearing in the Asia-Pacific due to less vaccination coverage; polio, yellow fever and tetanus are showing up in conflict zones; mumps is resurging in schools as more parents reject the MMR vaccine.

He says more people are choosing “natural immunity”, which I gather means letting disease run rampant in hopes that everyone’s immune system has read the same memo. That strikes me as a bit like saying, “I’ll build character by dodging traffic.”

It’s a bizarre turn-up, really. Science has helped humans drink clean water, stay cool in summer and send selfies from atop Mount Everest. Maybe it’s made them relax, because they’ve also put complete faith in the power grid working for ever, they assume the government will always look after everything — and they follow the novel advice of some influencer on YouTube whom they’ve never met — and who’s never been to medical school.

What’s behind it? A need to be something special — knowing something that others don’t? Or is it that modern life offers so little control that saying no to a syringe or arguing with your doctor feels like taking back power? From my spot on the dog bed, it looks more like taking back polio.

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being sceptical. I have learned to watch what The Boss does rather than listen to what he says. But you humans can do proper research: you can ask questions, seek multiple opinions, chase up references and recommendations. Yet somehow, you’re choosing to believe conspiracy theorists over epidemiologists.

After my expensive monthly prick in the scruff of my neck, I’m pain-free and trotting off along the sandbar, feeling like a pup. My arthritis is under control — but your diseases are coming back. Where’s the smart money around here? Woof!

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Tuesday, 2nd November 2027

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