One is big; one thinks he is.

The kelpie-cross — Bailey — is everything you’d expect a breed spliced with an Australian cattle dog to be: energetic, playful, quick and a relentless fetcher.

The dachshund — Hugo — is everything you’d expect a little dog to be: affectionate, full of FOMO, and in resolute possession of big dog complex.

“He thinks he’s a Rottweiler, thinks he can take on anything,” Hugo’s owner, Shepparton’s Anne Jennings, said of her little tan and black, short-legged bestie.

Hugo’s not yet a year old — he will celebrate his first birthday in December — but ever since he joined Anne’s household, he’s made himself comfortable, hogging her cuddles, particularly at night on the couch.

While Bailey, the O.G., did get a little jealous when Hugo came along, he’s learned to love him and now enjoys the company of his little brother.

Bailey was a rescue pup, who came to Anne’s son, Harley Keating, in pretty poor condition when he was 12 weeks old.

Other pups from the same litter had sadly drowned in buckets of water on the farm where he was found.

The family didn’t want the same fate to befall Bailey.

The almost four-year-old working dog — who doesn’t actually do any work in his suburban backyard other than watchdog duties — is the first pet dog Harley, 18, has had since he was little, trading canines for felines for a few years.

“Getting Bailey was a pretty special memory,” Harley said.

Harley moved out of home a few months ago, to a tenancy that doesn’t allow dogs, so Bailey has stayed put at Anne’s place, much to the delight of his playmate, Hugo.

Harley still visits his relentlessly smiling fur child regularly at his mum’s place, but has filled his pet void in the in-between times with a creature not quite as cuddly; a blue-tongued lizard, which, if Harley returns home to live some day, is probably not welcome to come with him.

“I don’t do reptiles,” Anne said with a shudder.

In fact, Anne is content with the two playful pooches and has no plans to add any more animals to the mix.

“No other pets, the dogs are enough,” Anne said, before telling the story of Bailey’s preferred pastime of stealing toilet rolls off the holder for games of catch with himself, despite his yard being full of pet-friendly toys.

“He throws them up in the air, they come unravelled and make a mess,” Anne said.

“I’ve had to throw out a few toilet rolls. Lucky it’s not COVID time!”

Perhaps her desire to get a small dog was fuelled by the appeal that the shorter the beast, the less likely he is to be able to reach these things, and, in turn, creating far less havoc.

For the things she does want her little guy to reach though, she is only too happy to facilitate access.

“He’s got a little step so he can get up on to my bed at night,” Anne said.

But the distinguished dachshund doesn’t bed down until he’s gotten his nightly fix of TV news.

Anne said he will pull a cushion from the couch and sit on it, goggling at the box while cocking his head from side to side as the different vocal tones flow out of the speakers.

Then it’s time for him and Bailey to eat their home-cooked chicken, rice and “heaps of green veg” dinner that Anne has lovingly made them both since they were pups.

Pampered, precocious and playful pets, Bailey and Hugo are both perfect pals for Anne and for each other.

Proof that mismatched sizes do not have to disrupt harmony.

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Saturday, 18th September 2027

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