A journey unknown

Being a carer of a loved one with dementia is territory of an unfamiliar terrain.

It's a life-changing journey, of where to now.

What, when and how do we navigate the challenges that arise with the diagnosis.

These unknown roads ahead can be physically and emotionally demanding and, while we work through the clutter and confusion that arises in everyday living, many of us are left overwhelmed and sometimes frustrated by the complex system of finding help.

While there are many organisations out there, finding the right help to your unique situation can be a burden in itself.

In my situation, I was completely overwhelmed by the constant changes I was having to put in place in order to keep my husband safe.

Some of these changes were small and not picked up in the beginning, but they were there, popping out every now and again.

As you become more aware of the challenges for them, such as them getting lost and not knowing where they are or live — you the carer are constantly watching for these subtle triggers of confusion in order to keep your loved one calm and content.

And by re-directing their attention where necessary, this in the end had become a full-time job.

I cared for my husband for 10 years — watching the slow decline in his short-term memory, dealing with everyday activities that being a wife you can take for granted, all the while suffering in silence as the memories faded and so to had my identity.

Dementia also took a toll on my health. With sleepless nights, the nocturnal ups and downs, and the constant sadness of loss — life became isolated.

Friends stopped visiting, phones stop ringing, gatherings became non-existent, and life that once was, was no longer.

Carer burnout is what I faced along with the ever-nagging question of ‘Who am I?’

Along with dementia comes depression, for not just the one you care for, but yourself also.

Without the support of the Kyabram dementia awareness group, I believe the struggle would have been much worse.

My husband has now been put in full-time care, and I visit him every two to three days,

He still recognises me, and this brings some comfort in knowing he is been well taken care of.

Although l often leave with a tear in my eye, I know he is in the best place.

Just remember community support is the key to sustaining an active role in the care you provide for the one you love.

– Jessie Halls

For local help in Kyabram, please ring Kyabram Community and Learning Centre on 5852 0000 or the 24-hour Australia-wide Dementia Australia Hotline on 1800 100 500.

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Wednesday, 19th February 2025

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